CRG vs. Boulder Preview

The Cincinnati Rollergirls start off their second season at their new venue, Schmidt Memorial Fieldhouse at Xavier University, on Saturday, March 10, 2018 with a double-header against Colorado's Boulder County Bombers. CRG announcer Tank previews what's expected to be a close matchup.

“Well, I've been afraid of changin'/'Cause I've built my life around you/But time makes you bolder/Even children get older/And I'm getting older too” - Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

What’s going on, Cincinnati Rollergirls fans? it’s your old friend Tank, back again for another season of flat track roller derby action. When I saw the Black Sheep’s roster for this Saturday, I started to think about the new faces that had joined the team, but more importantly, I started to look at the "new" faces that are now the seasoned veterans. I thought about the women I had watched over the past two or three seasons and the number of times I had said, “Oh, she's going to be really good someday.” Well, that someday is today, and that time is now. One of the main goals for this team is to make it back to the WFTDA Playoffs, and with the collection of talent that they have, I think that is a very real possibility.

CRG is kicking off the season by welcoming the Boulder County Bombers All Stars (A Team) and Bombshells (B Team) from Colorado to the cozy confines of the Schmidt Memorial Fieldhouse at Xavier University. Although an unsanctioned contest, this will be a great strength test for both the Sheep and Lambs to kick off the season, as the teams are currently ranked incredibly close in the WFTDA rankings with the Bombers at 69 and CRG at 78.

The undefeated Black Sheep (2-0) will take the track first as they take on their toughest competition so far this season. The one-two punch of jammers Jas Hubbard and Royal T is back and better than ever. Their off-the-track friendship, competitive nature and athleticism have turned them into an unstoppable force that turns the tables on opposing defenses with their brutal, hard-hitting offensive attack.

Speaking of athleticism, you really need to watch Wheezy's training videos. She's constantly researching and inventing new off-skate strategies to strengthen her body and turn herself into an unstoppable juggernaut on skates, whether she's wearing the jammer star or the pivot stripe. And when it comes to raw power, no one can touch Crum. She is easily putting up a 300 lb-plus deadlift at CrossFit Cincinnati while still maintaining the ability to instantly hit 180s on the track to stop opposing jammers on a dime.

Finally, we have quite the mix of returning skaters and first-timers on the rest of the roster. Garden of Beatin’ has come back to CRG after a stint with Ohio Roller Derby, and Sailor Scary has returned from a brief retirement. Doom, a transfer from San Diego, is making her CRG regular season debut, as is Little Bull, a former Nashville Junior Rollergirl who was a standout during the fall local team season. And CRG intern-turned-official-turned-skater Hustle made her Black Sheep debut in closed games last month and will skate with the Sheep again Saturday.

The second game of the night will see the 2-1 Violent Lambs in action. The Lambs recently brought home the Bronze Brassiere from the B-Cup tournament in Bloomington, IN. While that is impressive on paper, what’s even more impressive is how young this team is. A number of these skaters are playing in their second or third season with the Lambs and are already actively competing to make a Sheep roster.

A few years ago, CRG alums decided to invest the time and resources into starting a junior team, and that has really paid off with Ada Burnlace and Mae Murder. Currently, both are riding that line between the top end of the Lambs and the low end of the Sheep in their early 20s, which is mind-blowing. I can’t even begin to imagine how incredible both of them will be in five years.

Ada and Mae will be joined Saturday by former Cincinnati junior Princess Derby, daughter of retired CRG skater Polly Rocket. You’ll see Little Bull again on the Lambs roster, and two other former juniors, CleoPAINtra and Ficus, are alternates. But the roster isn’t all former juniors. Second-year skater Loko is also slated to make her regular season debut on Saturday, and fan favorite Jungle Lacy has come out of retirement to skate with CRG again.

Let’s break the fourth wall here for a second. You and I both know that my job is to hype this team up and talk you into buying a ticket to watch the Cincinnati Rollergirls play live. Why am I doing this? Because I want you to know that this season goes beyond that. This isn’t a team that needs hype or for me to tell you how great they are, because they are going to be that great. This team is loaded with more talent then I have ever seen, and they are working together as one unit. All signs point to them winning a lot of games this year, so go ahead and buy those season tickets now, because mark my words: You are going to want to watch these teams and cheer them on as they began their march to return to the WFTDA Playoffs.


Click here for more information about the March 10 Home Season Opener & Fan Appreciation Night and to buy tickets. Haven't been to a CRG game at Schmidt yet? Read our game day tips.

CRG Black Sheep vs. Boulder County All-Stars (6 p.m.)

Black Sheep: 13 - Little Bull // 135 - Jas Hubbard // 15 - Mae Murder // 16 - Garden of Beatin’ // 23 - ¡I, Caramba! // 30 - Kitten Kicker // 34 - Jillian Dollaz // 43 - Wheezy // 533 - Royal T // 6313 - Ellie Stab’er // 77 - Anne Bones // 8 - Doom // 89 - Hustle // 92 - Sailor Scary // 93 - Crum // Alternates: 21 - Ada Burnlace // 27 - Poppy Chulo

All-Stars: 0815 - Feist E One // 10 - Lex // 1337 - Glitter // 2020 - X-ray Vixon // 22 - Speedo Bandito // 3 - Deputease // 316 - Die Die Darlyn // 40 - Speedlejuice // 44 - Jude E Boom // 504 - Fleur de Beast // 529 - Downtown Stabbey // 57 - Sauce // 64 - Vinni Vidi Vici // 8 - Evil Ex // 88 - Catastrophebe // Alternates: 727 Jaynesrous Jukes // 777 UBNice

CRG Violent Lambs vs. Boulder County Bombshells (8 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: 13 - Little Bull // 15 - Mae Murder // 154 - Crystal Whip // 16 - Garden of Beatin’ // 18 - Scrappy Sue // 21 - Ada Burnlace // 23 - ¡I, Caramba! // 27 - Poppy Chulo // 29 - RedRum // 34 - Jillian Dollaz // 4 - Loko // 626 - Noah Pologies // 63 - Princess Derby // 713 - The Slayer // 83 - Jungle Lacy // Alternates: 9 - CleoPAINtra // 81 - Ficus

Bombshells: 0425 - Yo’Leeta Applebum // 1101 - Purple People Eater // 1811 - Sass-squatch // 212 - Charlie Pusheen // 323 - Butters Stotch // 333 - Paws O Fury // 410 - Buffy the Jammer Slayer // 44 - Jude E Boom // 48 - Bobbie Pins U // 53 - Li’l Poundkake // 64 - Vinni Vidi Vici // 727 - Jaynesrous Jukes // 777 - UBNice // 8 - Evil Ex // 88 - Catastrophoebe // Alternates: 504 - Fleur de Beast // 22 - Speedo Bandito

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