Beer. Tracht. Roller skates. That is what the inaugural Cincinnati Rollergirls “Blocktoberfest” is about this Saturday, Sept. 26 at Under the Weather Sports Complex.

The Cincinnati Rollergirls are hosting a game this Saturday night between a pair of teams that are made up primarily of CRG skaters and sponsored by local brewery MadTree Brewing. The teams were drafted by my fellow announcer Coach Marty and I (Tank) at a live draft at MadTree (like gentlemen, we selected these teams while drinking beers). Also, Marty wore a pink kimono with his turn of the 20th century newspaper writer ensemble. It was a classy affair, as you can see from the below Instagram photo. We selected the teams, Team Sol Drifter (Marty) and Team Sprye (me) one by one for 14 rounds, both of us focusing on what makes up a winning squad in our eyes.

The teams we assembled definitely have different styles. I decided to put my team together with an emphasis on speed and rolling the dice on three players I have never seen skate. I like to live in the fast lane, taking chances while listening to southern rock with the top down. Marty played it safe and bet on powerful blockers and the ladies he has seen with his own eyes. It’s a 50-50 proposition, as one of our teams will win and one will lose. For the skaters, pride is on the line; for Marty and me, it’s a wager of a 6 pack of MadTree Happy Amber.*
One look at the rosters will tell you that this game is going to be fun to watch.
Team Sol Drifter: Big Ugly #72 // Chainsaw #80 // Cincy Psych-O #22 // Ellie Stab’er #631 // Hannah Barbaric #85 // ¡I, Caramba! #23 // Jas Hubbard #135 // Macrum #93 // Jennocide (dba Meatball) #14 // MIRDERHER #44 // Pistol Whippin’ Wendy #38 // Sailor Scary #92 // Scrappy Sue #18 // Skunna Hurt #69 // Bench Coaches: Marty and Miss Print
Team Sprye: Annie Tomical #91 // Cherry Choke #0 // Darla Vader #1138 // Garden of Beatin’ (Ohio Roller Girls) #16 // Heartless Glitch (Gem City Rollergirls) #1337 // Jillian Dollaz #34 // Kitten Kicker #30 // Nuk’em #86 // Polly Rocket #63 // Poppy Chulo #27 // Ragdoll Ruby #42 // REDRUM #29 // Royal T #533 // Supersonic (Gem City Rollergirls) #10 // Bench Coaches: Wheezy and The Librarian
It’s a mix of current CRG standouts, recently retired players, skaters from other leagues, a few rookies and more. I also wonder how much strategy will be put these games as Marty (former coach) and Miss Print (one of the original Cincinnati Rollergirls) for Sol Drifter clash with The Librarian (another original CRG player) and Wheezy (current Black Sheep ace jammer). Where will I be during the game while Marty is coaching? Sitting in my plush owner’s box** and drinking the finest of canned beers.
But that isn’t all, as the Cincinnati Battering Rams men’s roller derby team will also be in action against the Pittsburgh Blue Streaks at 6 p.m., with the CRG game following. It’s always fun to watch the guys play, as you’re guaranteed to see some big hits and some long apex jumps.
I am really looking forward to this Saturday night. The fan seating for this game at Under the Weather is about 500 people, which means it’s sure to sell out, so if you’re not already a season ticket holder, I recommend buying your tickets in advance through Brown Paper Tickets (plus you save $5 on adult general admission tickets that way). With that size crowd packing the building, there will definitely be a lot of energy in the air. Naturally, MadTree will be available on draft, which would be best enjoyed from the bar overlooking the track if you’re willing to spring for VIP tickets (those also get you a drink ticket and a CRG coozie).
Also, if the draft was any indication, expect this game to be a lot of fun and not quite as serious as the regular season: There are rumors of some very cool boutfits and antics. Finally, this will be your last chance to see a Cincinnati Rollergirls home game until the Black Sheep and Violent Lambs return to action in 2016,*** so get your tickets now, and get ready for what is sure to be a fun night.
Blocktoberfest Details: Under the Weather Sports Complex is located in North College Hill at 6630 Hamilton Ave., Cincinnati, OH 45224. Doors open at 5 p.m., the Rams play at 6 p.m. and the Cincinnati Rollergirls game immediately follows. The Under the Weather bar (featuring MadTree’s Psychopathy on draft and canned beer options) and the CRG merch booth will be accepting credit cards, but bring cash for food and tips – there is no ATM on site.Click here for more details and complete ticket information.
*While the Cincinnati Rollergirls don’t encourage gambling, I totally do. Get weird with it and bet a pinky finger sometime.
**Editor’s note: Tank is not an owner and if an owner’s box exists, we have yet to see it.
***CRG takes on the Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls in the fourth annual Crosstown Knockdown on Saturday, Oct. 10 in Covington, KY. Click here for more information on that game.