On June 1 and 2, 2013, the Cincinnati Rollergirls will take their top 20 skaters to Midwest Brew Ha Ha in Milwaukee to face off against a familiar foe, the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, and a new rival, Arizona Roller Derby. Tank has a preview.

Sometimes the most dangerous things in the world are the things that we don’t perceive as dangerous. For example, if I were to ask you which animal in Africa kills the most humans per year, what would you guess? Rhinos? Lions? Great white sharks? Nope, it is the hippopotamus. That’s right, all those goofy cartoons that tell us that hippopotamuses are happy, dancing gentle giants is a lie. In reality, they are murderous juggernauts that regularly trample people and can snap an adult crocodile in half.
The 2013 Cincinnati Rollergirls are a lot like the hippopotamus. People outside of CRG weren’t expecting much out of this team; they slept on them, assuming that they would either continue on a downward spiral or settle into a spot of Midwest mediocrity. But this team is anything but mediocre. Currently they are undefeated at home, and the Black Sheep are riding an impressive six-game winning streak and are 6-1 on the season so far. During this run, they have blown out teams, held onto leads, and even staged large double-digit comeback victories. In short, they are doing the unexpected, and doing so in very dynamic fashion.
In June, Cincinnati will come close to doubling the number of games they have played so far this season with one home bout and four road games. First up, the Black Sheep, ranked 34th by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, hit the road this weekend to travel to scenic Milwaukee, WI for the annual Midwest Brew Ha Ha. They will be locking horns with one of the oldest leagues in the world, Arizona Roller Derby. AZRD’s No. 55 Tent City Terrors have seen their share of ups and downs over the years. Last year, they looked to be on the way back up the ladder with the addition of some of the best players on the planet (Hockey Honey, Joy Collision and Atomatrix) to their roster. They secured some big wins, including taking down Steel City at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza. But just as quickly as those three came to town, they were gone. Dating back to last year the Terrors are riding a nine game losing streak (currently they are 0-5 this season).
Cincinnati’s second game this weekend will be against old frienemies, the No. 53 Grand Raggidy Roller Girls of Grand Rapids, MI. Cincinnati has a 5-0 lifetime record against the GRRG All-Stars who come into this match up with a 2-4 record on the season. They did play tight against Bleeding Heartland, who handed Cincinnati their own sanctioned loss of the season so far. And this team does have a number of seasoned veterans such as Lucy Morals, Lindsay Blowhan, and Bette Mangler. But I don’t see either of these squads being able to stop what the Sheep are bringing to the home of Pabst Blue Ribbon this weekend. Cincinnati is a well-oiled machine that is hitting on all cylinders right now, and I don’t see either of these teams having the stopping power to disrupt that.
CRG is bringing the entire charter 20 to Brew Ha Ha, and this would be a great chance to see some of the usual non-rostered skaters get some playing time. It will be interesting to see if new-to-the-Charter-20 skaters/Violent Lambs standouts Big Ugly, La Bruja, and Ruthless Chris get a shot at some WFTDA sanctioned bout action. To top it off, we are going to get to see clashing of the Hannah Barbarics this weekend! Yes, you read that right: Arizona has a Hannah Barbaric as well, which is something that is not supposed to happen in the roller derby world, thanks to the Two Evils registry, but it happened. Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on someone’s helmet when these two line up against each other on the flat track. I am putting my money on the original that is tougher then a coffin’s nail.
In short, I am predicting that the CRG victory train will be kept a-rollin’ (all night long).
Brew Ha Ha Schedule: Cincinnati plays Arizona at 11:45 a.m. Central Time on Saturday, June 1 and Grand Raggidy at 11:45 a.m. Central Time on Sunday, June 2. Check the Brew Ha Ha website and Facebook page for information about live streaming and check CRG’s Facebook page and Twitter feed for score updates.

Cincinnati Rollergirls Charter 20 as of May 30, 2013*

72 Big Ugly // 12 Bombtrack // 33 Buckhead Betty // 32 candyKICKass // 85 Hannah Barbaric // 21 June with a Cleaver (injured) // 83 Jungle Lacy // 18 K. Lethal // 30 Kitten Kicker // 66 La Bruja // 44 Mirderher // 86 Nuk’em // 77 Penn Tupanga // 6 Railroad // 29 Ruff’n the Passer // 5 Ruthless Chris // 76 Sadistic Sadie // 92 Sailor Scary // 2 Sista Shovechild // 43 Wheezy
*14-skater rosters for each Brew Ha Ha game to be determined