After sweeping their March 14 home season opener vs. NEO Roller Derby, the Cincinnati Rollergirls return to the Cincinnati Gardens on Saturday, April 4 to take on the up-and-coming Ann Arbor Derby Dimes. Tank has a recap and a preview.

Is it possible for something to evolve to the point that it essentially becomes what it once was? No, I am not high when I am writing this. Allow me to explain. Back in the day, the Cincinnati Rollergirls made their name on defense. Now in 2007 through 2009, defense had a much different meaning then it does now (sorta). Back then, it was all about targeting the other team’s jammer and just unloading on her with brutal shot after body-bruising shot. Then things changed when scrum starts came into vogue, which did not favor CRG, who were usually smaller than their opponents.
And then there was last year, where defense sort-of-kind-of existed. During the first game of the season on March 14, which the Black Sheep won 308-96, I saw a return to hard-nosed defense that I hadn’t seen since I first planted roots in the Queen City in 2008. But at the same time, it was a CRG defense I had never seen before.
One thing I haven’t seen the Black Sheep with in a long time was trust. Trust in their teammates to make a block, to form up a wall and to bond together as a unit. I am so used to watching the Sheep blockers going rogue like Sarah Palin, but in the first game of the season against NEO they formed together like a four woman Voltron. There were numerous jams where you would see a two-woman wall with the other two blockers skating backwards and bracing into them. They skated smart and controlled the speed of the pack, giving the NEO jammers a long day at the office. Early in the season, I am liking what I am seeing.
The Cincinnati jammers excite me and worry me after the first game. Let’s talk about the positives first. This jammer corps is incredibly athletic and everyone’s footwork is WAY better then it was last year. I saw multiple jammers tip-toe the outside line and jump around blocks. Jammers were able to win three-on-one-blocker situations. I am so happy to see Wheezy back on the jammer line in the regular rotation. Seriously, at this point she is just one gigantic muscle, like a python with a really long ponytail that always hangs to the right side. Speaking of muscles, Anne Bones looks like she put in some work during the off season and is seeing some very positive results from it. And transfer Jas Hubbard has that “it” factor to her game. If she keeps moving on this path and gains experience, she could become one of the best jammers in CRG history.
Now that I have heaped on all this praise, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Jammer penalties. There were multiple times in this game where Cincinnati jammers ended up in the box, and while they got away with it in a game that they led from the start, this won’t always be the case. Jammer penalties have historically been one of the main back-breaking statistic for any team, and the Sheep have to get them under control as they start to face tougher competition.
The Lambs also looked solid and had a great first game of the season, winning 187-122. I love the swagger and personality of the Lambs. This team just oozes charisma and gets the crowd into their games. If you don’t love Sista Shovechild, Hot Slice, Big Ugly, MIRDERHER, Cherry Choke, Poppy Chulo, and the rest of the crew, then apparently you are waiting for a Creed reunion tour and think that the Big Bang Theory has good writing (it doesn’t). I love this team because what they might lack in sophisticated blocking strategy, they make up for in just blasting people with brute force. Straight up, if you aren’t staying for the Lambs games, you are missing out on a lot of fun.
This Saturday night, Ann Arbor and Cincinnati meet up head to head. Cincinnati is ranked 86th by Flat Track Stats and Ann Arbor are at 49. That being said, I think this is a big matchup for CRG to catapult themselves up the ladder and get themselves into early playoff contention. I am really looking forward to this game and it’s an early litmus test to see if this 2015 squad has turned the corner. Buy your tickets now, because you do not want to miss this game.
-Tank
For tickets and more information, click here.
Can’t make the game? Watch ICRCTV’s Livestream Presented by Tom + Chee here or click here to find out when to watch the game on cable access channels in Greater Cincinnati.

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. Ann Arbor Brawlstars (6 p.m.)

Black Sheep: Anne Bones 77 // CandyKICKass! 32 // Hannah Barbaric 85 // ¡I, Caramba! 23 // Jas Hubbard 135 // Kitten Kicker 30 // La Bruja 66 // Macrum 93 // Nuk’em 86 // Penn Tupanga 360 // Pistol Whippin’ Wendy 38 // Ruthless Chris 5 // Sailor Scary 92 // Wheezy 43 // Alternates: MIRDERHER 44 // Big Ugly 72
Brawlstars: Lethal Bo Peep 3 // Michelle O’Bomb Ya 4 // Bex 10 // Track Magic 22 // Jadzia Smax 24 // Fracture Mechanics 62 // Jacky O’Bashes 63 // Dr. Maims U 84 // Slamlet 187 // She Rock 302 // Slamuel L. Jackson 404 // Terror Misu 811 // Strawberries N Scream 886 // Lezzie Arnaz 1111 // Alternates: Susan B. Slamthony 96 // Skorpion 999

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. Arbor Bruising Co. (approx. 7:45 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: Annie Tomical 91 // Big Ugly 72 // Cherry Choke 0 // Cincy Psych-O 22 // Ellie Stab’er 631 // Hot Slice 71 // Jennocide 14 // Jillian Dollaz 14 // Mama Crass 26 // MIRDERHER 44 // Poppy Chulo 27 // Sista Shovechild 2 // Skunna Hurt 69 // V.C. 96 // Alternate: Polly Rocket 63
Arbor Bruising Co.: Murder byProxy 125 // Straight Edge Revenge 30 // Queen McLightning 59 // Kink Stropharia 711 // Lucille Baller 69 // Knuckles Kidman 85 // Heavy Petting Zoo 1091 // Susan B Slamthony 96 // skorpion 1247 // Riot Hrrrl L7 // Cora Slain 0N3 // Jodie Fister 520 // Blonde Wreck-Her 23 // Scarlett Joheadslam 13 // Alternates: Sonnet Boom 14 // Melicious Mischief 17