The Cincinnati Rollergirls open their ninth season at the historic Cincinnati Gardens on Saturday, March 14 by taking on the same team they beat decisively two years ago at this time: NEO Roller Derby. Tank previews the action.

Have you ever had that dream where you are in a fight and all your punches are in slow motion? No matter what you do, you can’t hit a damn thing and your arms feel like they weigh 100 pounds apiece? You breathe like you’re drowning, sweat pours down your face and you know that you’re living a nightmare.
That was the 2014 season for the Cincinnati Rollergirls. Once one of the most dominant teams in the world at one point, one that was consistently knocking on the door of the WFTDA championship tournament, CRG’s Black Sheep fell apart last year and went 0-15 on the season. They were locked out of the post season for the first time ever and didn’t receive a spot in either the D1 or D2 playoffs. It was a somber, sobering season.
2014 was a year of hitting the reset button on the entire organization from the track to the front office, with new members taking over day-to-day operations. The question is, will these changes finally pay off in 2015? I, for one, have a lot of confidence in the team this year and what they’re doing to work their way back into the playoff picture.
First, the Black Sheep roster looks to be a nice mix of different players at different points in their careers. ¡I, Caramba!, Kitten Kicker, La Bruja and Ruthless Chris are all seasoned veterans at this point and have experience playing in big games against big names. Sailor Scary is one of the best players in the state of Ohio and a key component for success for this team this season. Anne Bones, Nuk’em, and Wheezy are physically gifted players with a lot of speed that I hope will all get some time with the jammer star this season.
There is also new blood this year as Macrum comes on board with a lot of experience from playing on various East Coast teams and Jas Hubbard joins the squad from Bleeding Heartland. [Read more about Macrum and Hubbard here.] CandyKICKass! and Hannah Barbaric both celebrate a decade of derby this year and return to the track for another season. Finally, Penn Tupanga and Pistol Whippin’ Wendy (aka P Dubs) return to the league after a cup of coffee in Naptown and Ohio respectively. Jammer juggernaut Tru D. Vicious is currently on the sidelines with a leg injury but will hopes return later in the season.
I really like the line up of this team. It’s a great mix of different players with a wide range of skills that are all at various points in their career. It’s a nice combination of talent with everyone injecting their own strengths and styles into the team’s overall strategy and game plan. I’ll be interested to see who will steps forward as a leader for this squad as the season progresses.
The Lambs are bringing a hefty amount of experience into this season as well with a number of returning veterans, many of which have seen time on the Sheep as well. One of the things I have always loved about this team is its personality and swagger, which Big Ugly, Hot Slice and Sista Shovechild exemplify.
The Lambs have a trio of power hitters in Jennocide, Mama Crass, and the recently crowned Queen of the Rink, MIRDERHER. Chainsaw returns to the team and we’ll get to see the Lambs debut of Ellie Stab’er (a transfer from the Rollergirls of Central Kentucky) and V.C. (formerly of the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana) at the Gardens. Annie Tomical, Cincy Psych-O and Skunna Hurt are all extremely talented athletes that can be big contributors to this team. Finally Poppy Chulo, who had zero penalties last year, and Cherry Choke are two of the key components of the Lambs roster who are consistently there and make this team work like a well-oiled machine.
I am excited about this season and what it could mean for CRG. This year’s schedule is not as intense as last year’s and should yield better results for the league. Their first test comes this Saturday night against NEO, an in-state rival from Akron. CRG is favored to win the game by Flat Track Stats, which would be a good way to start the season with something the Sheep have been looking for for a long time: A win. Good luck, ladies.
-Tank
For tickets and more information, click here.
Can’t make the game? Watch ICRCTV’s Livestream Presented by Tom + Chee here.

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. NEO Rock ‘n’ Rollergirls (6 p.m.)

Black Sheep: Anne Bones 77 // CandyKICKass! 32 // Hannah Barbaric 85 // ¡I, Caramba! 23 // Jas Hubbard 135 // Kitten Kicker 30 // La Bruja 66 // Macrum 93 // Nuk’em 86 // Penn Tupanga 360 // Pistol Whippin’ Wendy 38 // Ruthless Chris 5 // Sailor Scary 92 // Wheezy 43 // Alternates: Hot Slice 71 // Sista Shovechild 2
Rock ‘n’ Rollergirls: sCarhartt 11 // Masher Chief 117 // Olive Pain 169 // Kitty Black 187 // Jackie Torments 237 // Twin Pistol 357 // Wes Cravin’ Brainz 7734 // Dita Von Bitch 9 // Morbid Cherbu 916 // Finnish Her 96 // Rosa Mariposa E13 // Bad Mooney Rising R6

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. NEO Audio Assault (approx. 7:45 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: Annie Tomical 91 // Big Ugly 72 // Chainsaw 80 // Cherry Choke 0 // Cincy Psych-O 22 // Ellie Stab’er 631 // Hot Slice 71 // Jennocide 14 // Mama Crass 26 // MIRDERHER 44 // Poppy Chulo 27 // Sista Shovechild 2 // Skunna Hurt 69 // V.C. 96 // Alternates: Jillian Dollaz 34 // Royal T 533
Audio Assault: The Lioness 7 // Dita Von Bitch 9 // sCarhartt 11 // Shockwave 76 // Masher Chief 117 // Olive Pain 169 // Kitty Black 187 // Secret Distruction 216 // Valiant Vixen 219 // Jackie Torments 237 // Gone Maverick 414 // Valkillree 713 // Sailor Boom 850 // Rosa Mariposa E13