Unless you’ve been living under a rock or in one of those sweet Doomsday Prepper bunkers that you built for Y2K, then you know that this year, the Cincinnati Rollergirls are celebrating a decade of derby. Read more of Tank’s preview of CRG’s 2016 home opener.

It’s hard to imagine that it’s already been 10 years since CRG played their first bout at the Castle Skateland in Loveland. It seems like only yesterday that we were listening to Justin Timberlake Bring Sexy Back, watching Miley Cyrus debut as Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel and catching our first glimpse of a game on roller skates that is now played towns, cities and countries across the globe.
A lot of things were different back then, such as skaters wearing fishnets, T-shirt jerseys that were silk-screened by the skaters and at least one fight breaking out per game. But many things haven’t changed, including CRG’s competitive drive to be the best team in the state and beyond.
The 70th ranked Cincinnati Black Sheep kick off their WFTDA season at home this Saturday, March 12 against the 76th-ranked Roc City Roller Derby. Both teams feature skaters who played on their respective states’ all-star teams, and Cincinnati is coming into this year with a solid team that is poised to quickly move up the in the WFTDA rankings. This team is stocked with more firepower than a parking lot at a Ted Nugent concert. And this is hands down the most robust, talented jammer corps this team has had in years.
While in the past, the Sheep were lucky to have three jammers in a good year, this season they will be fielding five proficient jammers that can produce points. Wheezy is returning from an ACL replacement surgery that sidelined her for the entire season after the first home game. You can read about her intense rehab regimen here. She is basically one giant muscle at this point, and I’m pretty sure her forehead flexed at me the other day when we were talking.
Jas Hubbard is back and is poised to have her best season to date due to her athleticism and work ethic during the off-season. Jas won CRG’s Standout Jammer last year and this year she has a chance to become a WFTDA household name. Anne Bones (pictured) established herself as a fixture of the jammer line up last year. She has turned into a player that will get you points on a consistent basis and has the ability to break off a double digit jam out of nowhere.
Tru D. Vicious missed the entire home season last year with a broken leg and is looking to make up for lost time. Tru’s ability to jump the apex makes her a dangerous threat that other teams have trouble containing. Finally, Royal T made a big splash when she joined the team last year and will have more chances to contribute in 2016. She showed a lot of promise last year, and I am excited to see what she does during her sophomore season in the Queen City.
One of Cincinnati’s biggest problems used to be their lack of power in the pack, but that’s not going to be an issue this year. Ellie Stab’er, Macrum, MIRDERHER, Nuk’em and Sailor Scary all have a intimidating mix of strength, agility and speed. Like a pack of lionesses running down a bison, anyone who wears a star against them is going to have a rough day.
La Bruja, who has cemented herself as the premier defensive player of the team, is back as well. Bru reminds me of Michael Singletary from the ’85 Chicago Bears, as she always knows where to be and never gives up during a jam. Talented returning veterans Kitten Kicker, ¡I, Caramba! and Sk8 Crime round out the rest of this stellar line up. This team will literally be able to use every player on their roster this season because of how deep and talent-rich they are.
The Violent Lambs come into the season as the Lambs always do: solid. This team is filled with a mix of veterans and new players that get to learn from them. Over the past two seasons, Poppy Chulo has become a talented technician in the pack who hardly ever goes to the penalty box. Chainsaw has really pushed herself physically over the course of the past year and with how intensely she plays, I think we’re going to see some remarkable things out of her this season. Newer players like Coco and Scrappy Sue will be in action as well, which is cool to see, as the Violent Lambs’ games are always “where the stars of tomorrow play today.”
I am incredibly excited about this home opener and the season in general. After two years of rebuilding this team from practically the ground up, Cincinnati looks like a squad that can make the Division 2 WFTDA playoffs. And if they can stay healthy, a Division 1 bid isn’t out of the question. All the pieces are there for this team and I can’t wait to see them put it together on the track. Ten years ago, the Cincinnati Rollergirls brought roller derby back to the tri-state, and a decade later, they are ready to prove they are the true queens of the flat track.
-Tank
For tickets and more information, click here.

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. Roc City Roc Stars (6 p.m.)

Black Sheep: 77 Anne Bones // 631 Ellie Stab’er // 23 I, Caramba! // 135 Jas Hubbard // 30 Kitten Kicker // 66 La Bruja // 93 Macrum // 44 Mirderher // 86 Nuk’em // 533 Royal T // 92 Sailor Scary // 50 Sk8 Crime // 19 Tru D. Vicious // 43 Wheezy // ALT. 27 Poppy Chulo // ALT. 80 Chainsaw
Roc Stars: 11 Florence Fightengale // 16 Sweet Sixteen // 2 Catherine the Irate // 27 Hater Tot // 413 Star Spangled Bam-her // 424 GO! // 481 Toni Sparxx // 718 Natasha Musquashya // 74 Goldie Fox // 75 Katie Rollerskates // 8 Jacky Spades 800 Jojo Thrasher // 823 Terminal Trend // 88 Tokyo Drift // Alt: 13 Lethal Lorelei

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. Roc City B-Sides (approx. 8 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: 91 Annie Tomical // 80 Chainsaw // 0 Cherry Choke // 48 Coco // 34 Jillian Dollaz // 41 Karli Hustle // 93 Macrum // 26 Mama Crass // 27 Poppy Chulo // 42 Ragdoll Ruby // 29 RedRum // 533 Royal T // 18 Scrappy Sue // 2 Sista Shovechild
B-Sides: 520 AlexSLAMdrea // 44 Medusa Mayhem // 94 SheGo Quick // 1330 Kandy Krusher // 321 Shockin Audrey // 49 Farrah Daze Rage // 187 Stabbity Ann // 14 D-Day // 116 Cul E Clencher // 27 Hater Tot // 413 Star Spangled Bamher // 16 Sweet Sixteen // 481 Toni Sparxx