Now 2-0 in sanctioned play this season, the Cincinnati Rollergirls return to the Cincinnati Gardens this Saturday, April 9 to take on Memphis Roller Derby and Terrorz Roller Derby of Columbus, IN and to host the fourth annual Bullies at the Bout event with the Cincinnati Pit Crew. Who will emerge victorious, and who will go home with their tail between their legs? Tank explains what to expect.

Two games into season, the Cincinnati Rollergirls’ Black Sheep are living up to the preseason expectations. In the first game of the season on March 12, they were firing on all cylinders against Roc City Roller Derby, winning 233-167. They recently followed that up with a 230-88 victory over Demolition City in a closed, hangover game in Indianapolis.
Currently the Sheep are ranked 71st in the WFTDA, although they’ll likely rise in the rankings next month after their win over No. 58 Demolition City. That means they’ll be orbiting outside of the top 60, which is where they will need to be ranked to make the D2 playoffs (teams ranked 41-60) or the D1 playoffs (teams ranked 1-40). AC/DC once said, “it’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock-n-roll,” but so far things are looking good for the Queens of the Queen City.
This Saturday night, the Black Sheep will face No. 102-ranked Memphis Roller Derby for the first time, while the Violent Lambs will tangle with Terrorz Roller Derby of Columbus, IN. I am excited to see Bloody Elle play for Memphis, as she is a long time veteran of the sport, having played for both The Outfit and Windy City in Chicago. She will presumably be Memphis’ best jammer. Also keep an eye on Goldi B. Locks in the pack, as she is one of the premier blockers for this MRD roster of just 12 skaters. Information about the Terrorz is rather limited online, but I did find that they went 2-4 last year, according to Flat Track Stats. Cincinnati and Terrorz previously battled in 2013, when CRG’s C-team, the Flock Ewes, took the win.
Whenever I write these previews, I like to go back and watch the previous home game. It’s one thing to see a game in person, but it’s hard to pick out the minute details of the game after a 2.5-hour tailgate session of beers and gas station chicken. One of the things that immediately jumped out at me while watching the Black Sheep vs. Roc City’s game was Sk8 Crime’s offensive blocking. The way the game has evolved, it’s commonplace to see three to four blockers focus squarely on the other team’s jammer and give zero assistance to their point scorer. That isn’t Sk8 Crime though, as she is consistently looking for a way to open the door to get her jammer through, from simply putting herself between another team’s blocker and her jammer or smashing whomever is unfortunate enough to wear a different color jersey. Both on and off the track, she is looking to help people, sort of like Mother Teresa but with a buzz cut and a femur-bending hip check.
Royal T also impressed me as she pulled double duty playing for both the Sheep and the Lambs. I think this is the absolute right move as she continues to improve with rep after rep on the jammer line. This could lead to big things for not only her but for the league as whole come playoff time. In the past, there were seasons when CRG was lucky to have two competent jammers in their lineup, but this year, with five stellar jammers to choose from (Wheezy, Jas Hubbard, Tru D Vicious, Royal T and Anne Bones), the skaters on this team can put themselves in situations where they consistently have the best jammer on the track, which generally leads to lead jammer status and large scores. Just like having a deep bullpen in baseball, this is one of the most crucial pieces of the puzzle for CRG and their playoff hopes.
Another player that pulled double duty was Macrum. Her Robocop visor/helmet combo is protecting one of the largest brains on the team. One of the things I really enjoy about her is she is constantly adding new tools to hear arsenal. I loved watching Macrum skating backwards while blocking a jammer and then lifting up her leg to put a knee in front of her when she tried to juke and thus instantly cutting her off.
Unfortunately, we will not see MIRDERHER in this game, and we might not see her for the rest of the home season, as she had rotator cuff surgery after the home opener. Even with a bad wing, she still won best blocker of the game. Don’t fret, though, as she will be patrolling the sidelines as a bench coach for this game. (This is where if I were a dumb journalist, I would say, “I wonder what she will be wearing on the sidelines?” The reason I didn’t ask this is because I value my throat and fingers.)
On the Lambs, Cherry Choke is also marking her 10th anniversary with CRG. This woman has played with this league from year one. That is a lot of roller derby. And seeing weird stuff. Cherry can still get wide on a track and is constantly communicating what to do to her teammates.
Annie Tomical is jamming for the Lambs this season (although she’s unavailable for the April 9 game). I like this woman’s determination. She’s been placed in a situation where she has to smash her body into other human beings or tip toe around them while they still try to annihilate her. She is fighting through it and is starting to figure this thing out.
Sista Shovechild was a force of nature in the last game. The Roc City B-Sides didn’t have any way to stop her. March 12 also might have been one of the last games for her signature fur-lined, half-unlaced jam skates. We’ll find out if she does better in a pair of derby boots (I think she will). I’d also like to see anyone else in the WFTDA stay upright in pair of those jam skates in a sanctioned game.
This should be a good night for the Cincinnati Rollergirls, as they are favored to win by 92 percent by Flat Track Stats as of this writing. And 3-0 sounds like a good way to keep the season going to me.
-Tank
For tickets and more information, click here.

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. Memphis (6 p.m.)

Black Sheep: 77 Anne Bones // 80 Chainsaw // 631 Ellie Stab’er // 23 ¡I, Caramba! // 135 Jas Hubbard // 30 Kitten Kicker // 66 La Bruja // 93 Macrum // 86 Nuk’em // 533 Royal T // 92 Sailor Scary // 50 Sk8 Crime // 19 Tru D. Vicious // 43 Wheezy // Alternate: 27 Poppy Chulo
Memphis: 901 Brooken Bones // 28 Tenacious B // 404 Lady Problems // 901 Muse of Bruise // 3 Goldi B. Locks // 709 Midtown Maulher // 45 Kabang Bang // 169 Nora Epinephrine // 13 Poptart // 1134 Bloody Elle // 72 Tokyo Drift // 7 Shifty-eyed Mavis // Alternate: Molly Tov 49

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. Terrorz Roller Derby (approx. 7:45 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: 80 Chainsaw // 0 Cherry Choke // 34 Jillian Dollaz // 41 Karli Hustle // 26 Mama Crass // 27 Poppy Chulo // 42 Ragdoll Ruby // 29 RedRum // 18 Scrappy Sue // 2 Sista Shove Child // 50 Sk8 Crime // 19 Tru D. Vicious
Terrorz: 5 Tailwhip // 1 Hawaiian PunchER // 12 Katniss Evermean // sk19 Morticia At-ems // 25 Nuclaire Threat // 3 Violent Emme // 45 Boo T-Rex // 55 Miss Brehave // 602 Stormageddon // 732 Melissa Lemmerman // 82 Spaz Attack // 83 Power Alley // 911 Kauzin’ Payne // 934 Whomping Willow // 27 Sauer Suzi // 42 Panda-Monium