The Cincinnati Rollergirls will close out their 2013 home season at the Cincinnati Gardens with a double-header against Kitchener, Ontario’s Tri-City Roller Girls. Tank has a preview.

Sometimes life is like a movie. The 2013 Cincinnati Rollergirls season reminds me a lot of the cinema classic, Major League, the timeless tale of a group of misfits/loveable personalities who come together to make an amazing team with an urge to prove to the world that they deserve to be respected. Both the Violent Lambs and Black Sheep are undefeated at home and with the final home game of the season coming up, I can’t get the images of a sweet ’80s movie montage out of my head. Hey CRG powers that be, can we get Stan Bush on the phone and make my “The Touch 2013 Remix” dreams a reality?
The historic Cincinnati Gardens has always been a tough place to play. My friend AK-40oz. refers to it as a “pit” that other teams dread playing in. It is a huge building with a lot of grit and character. Years ago, the Cincinnati Rollergirls came in and agreed to skate on its cold, unforgiving concrete because they loved the speed of the game on it. The people of the tristate heard about this and started to come to games and the fan base swelled. I don’t know how many of you have gone to an away game, but most derby events are smaller and held in skating rinks or other similar spaces. Playing in Cincinnati in contrast is playing against a team that skates a fast, physically pounding game, in a large, loud, echo-y building, in front of a few thousand rabid, derby savvy fans that know the game. It’s disorienting, it’s distracting and it’s a big advantage for the silver and black.
For the first time in a long time, both the Violent Lambs and the Black Sheep have a chance to go undefeated at home. Tri-City is rolling in to town to try and spoil the party. Their 3-3 A squad (The Tri-City Thunder) from Kitchener, Ontario, Canada is coming off a win at the 2013 Spring Roll against The Chicago Outfit, a tough team that Cincinnati managed to defeat at the end of last season, They will also be Cincinnati’s second international opponents of the season, as they defeated Toronto last month.
First up, the Violent Lambs tussle with the 2-2 Plan B. The Lambs are STACKED with talent going into this game. It’s as star studded as an Ocean’s Eleven movie, but with less Casey Affleck. Mirderher returns to the Lambs, which is awesome because she dominates people when she does. Watching Mir hit people is like seeing an alien samurai fight, in short its awesome. Watch for Railroad to do the same thing. Tru D. Vicious and Annie Tomical have been shown they deserve to play on this level, both standing out in the Heroes vs. Villains game this year and both are trying to get more playing time. Susie Shinsplintski aka “Shins” is in the line up for this one and looked great in the last Flock Ewes game. With a roster this loaded plus Ruthless Chris, Bombtrack and Hot Slice rocking the star for this one, I am very confident that the Lambs can get the W here.
The No. 34 WFTDA-ranked Cincinnati Rollergirls Black Sheep meet the No. 54 ranked Tri-City Roller Girls Inc. Thunder in the main event of the evening. Cincinnati is on an eight-game winning streak, including back to back wins over Arizona and Grand Raggidy at this past weekend’s Brew HaHa. Also at Brew HaHa. Sista Shovechild had two excellent games this past weekend and has earned her first appearance on the Sheep at home in the Gardens. La Bruja will also get another chance to make an impression in this one, having been rostered in Milwaukee as well. K Lethal has been money at home this season. Seriously, check out the ICRC-TV intro for the rollergirls games. Watching K. spin/jump/hop/skip/teleport/slip through packs on one foot is a thing of beauty. When she has room to move, she is an extremely dangerous weapon in the CRG arsenal. Is it even a question that Sadistic Sadie wants to win this game? If you have to ask that question, then you have found this webpage in error and yet somehow read down to this point.
Things look to be in Cincinnati’s favor to win this game, but with a busy month coming up against Detroit and Madison, they can’t look past this game. A focused Cincinnati is a scary team at home, and that would be a strong way to end the season. On the other hand, if they look past the Thunder, there is always the possibility of an upset. Knowing how much the Sheep want to end the season 5-0 at home, I am willing to bet that they will be laser focused like a college kid on Adderall during finals week.
-Tank
For ticket information for our June 8 double-header, Fan Appreciation Night, click here.

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. Tri-City Thunder Rosters

Cincinnati Black Sheep: Buckhead Betty 33 // CandyKICKass 32 // Hannah Barbaric 85 // Jungle Lacy 83 // K. Lethal 18 // Kitten Kicker 30 // La Bruja 66 // Nuk’em 86 // Penn Tupanga 77 // Ruff’n the Passer 29 // Sadistic Sadie 76 // Sailor Scary 92 // Sista Shovechild 2 // Wheezy 43
Tri-City Thunder: Eva Liza 00 // Skate Pastor 10 // Stacie Jones 101 // Fox Smoulder 1013 // Ova’Kill 11 // Rain Blows Brite 13 // Annex 14 // The Hellcat of Panar 1910 // Freudian Whip 22 // Leigh-zzie Borden 41 // Sofanda Beatin’ 420 // Mandy Maggotbone 669 // Preying ManTease 6T9 // Bloody Jess Mess 88 // Alternates: Suzy Slam 33 // Aggrosaurus R0AR

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. Tri-City Plan B Rosters

Cincinnati Violent Lambs: Annie Tomical 91 // Big Ugly 72 // Bombtrack 12 // Cherry Choke 0 // Cincy Psych-O 99 // Garden of Beatin’ 16 // I, Caramba! 23 // Hot Slice 71 // Juwana Hurt 4 // Mirderher 44 // Poppy Chulo 27 // Railroad 6 // Roxx Solid 74 // Ruthless Chris 5 // Susie Shinsplintski 51 // Tru D. Vicious 19
Plan B: Smashing Booty 12 // Meow Wallace 1321 // Ann Killbiter 16 // Justine Sane 17 // Lipsy Goldberg 19 // Amy Feral Foul-Her 2 // Ruby Shrew 32 // Suzy Slam 33 // Psykosonic 4 // Meg N Plead 42 // Slaughterhouse Streeter 480 // Hall n Ass 550 // Juka-Lailie 92 // Aggrosaurus R0AR // Alternates: Booty Two-Shoes 96 // Commander Will Wrecker NO1