An epic roller derby rivalry continues Saturday night, April 30, when the Cincinnati Rollergirls host the Naptown Roller Girls at the historic Cincinnati Gardens for CRG’s second annual Star Wars Night.

The No. 71-ranked Cincinnati Black Sheep are undefeated at 3-0 and the Violent Lambs are 4-1 as they recently suffered their first loss to Steel City’s B-team at Bleeding Heartland’s B-Cup Tournament (insert immature chuckle here). Naptown’s No. 32 Tornado Sirens are coming in this contest with a 2-2 record and the Warning Belles are 3-0. Naptown has been a yearly test for CRG that’s about as dreadful as a dentist appointment, as NRG has been one of the strongest teams in the Midwest and beyond for over five years.
But I’m intrigued by both of Saturday night’s games. This is the best Cincinnati has looked in a long time against Naptown, a team that always brings a lot of talent to the floor and has been dominating this friendly rivalry for what seems like as long as Yoda’s lifespan. Like last year’s Cincinnati-Naptown matchup in Indianapolis, which saw the Sirens come away with a 124-point win, Saturday’s game will be unsanctioned — but that doesn’t mean the battle will be any less fierce.

The Sheep have been looking very strong so far this season. Nuk’em has brought her game to another level this year. She is constantly rolling in the back of the pack and picking jammers off with the precision of the turrets on the Millennium Falcon. Bru is like a TIE fighter, one of the Black Sheep’s signature starfighters, never letting the opposing jammer out of her sights. Kitten Kicker and Ellie Stab’er have both been contributing this year by playing smart and being in the right spot at the right time. The more time Ellie gets with the Sheep, the better she becomes.
Speaking of getting some PT with the Sheep, Poppy Chulo is going to be making her home debut with the Black Sheep this Saturday night after years of being one of the Lambs’ best blockers. Her newfound dedication to the weight room is showing, as this is the best Poppy I’ve ever seen. And to tie this paragraph all together, let’s talk about Sailor Scary, who might be the most balanced player in the league in terms of combining speed, size, strength and smarts together into one devastating package.
The Sirens come into this game with some strong veterans that have been playing at a high level for a number of years. Naptown has announced Dora the Destroyer’s is retiring, so Saturday night is one of your last chances to see her in action. Dora’s height has always been a major advantage as she is tall as an AT-ST Walker. I have seen her become a one-woman wall a countless number of times by simply squatting and stretching her legs against the track. Speaking of wily veterans, jammer Maiden America will be on the track this Saturday night as well. Maiden is a strong athlete and if the Sheep want to win they must find a way to contain her.
The Violent Lambs are looking to make a statement in this game after a disappointing loss at B-Cup that kept them out of the top 4. Chainsaw continues to dominate on the B team level this year, and just like The Force, she is everywhere at once. I also love watching Redrum continue to grow this season. She’s getting better with every game, and what she lacks in experience, she more than makes up for in her willingness to throw her body at anyone in a different colored jersey. Finally, how can we have Star Wars Night without talking about Darla Vader? This is her night, and so I say to her, “may the force be with you.”
After reviewing the Belles roster, I realized I don’t know anyone on it. That doesn’t mean anything though, as Naptown is notorious not for rebuilding, but for reloading. We’re going to see a number of Naptown players in this game that will someday be playing on the next level.
Saturday night will be a lot of fun and a true litmus test to see where the Cincinnati Rollergirls stand in 2016. Will they be forced to retreat like the battle of Hoth, or will they emerge victorious like the battle of Endor? Get to the Gardens on Saturday night to avoid spoilers and see the ending for yourself.
-Tank
Star Wars Night also features:
• Appearances by Star Wars characters from the 501st Legion’s Ohio Garrison and the Midwest R2 Builders Club
• Limited edition Star Wars Night T-shirts ($19 adults, $14 kids)
• Light swords to the first 500 fans in the door (priority given to children 12 and younger)
• Star Wars Costume Contest during halftime of the first game (approximately 6:35 p.m.): Costumes will be judged based on audience applause, and one adult winner and one child winner will each receive a free CRG Star Wars Night T-shirt!
• Chewbacca Roar contest during halftime of the second game (approximately 8:20 p.m.): Roars will be judged based on audience applause, and one adult winner and one child winner will each receive a free CRG Star Wars Night T-shirt!
Schedule:
5 p.m. Doors open
5-6 p.m. $1 beer happy hour
5:55 p.m. National Anthem: Jess Lamb
6 p.m. Game 1: CRG Violent Lambs vs. Naptown Roller Girls Warning Belles
7:20 p.m. Intermission: Kounterfit Krew
7:45 p.m. Game 2: CRG Black Sheep vs. Naptown Tornado Sirens (unsanctioned)
Click here for ticket information.

Cincinnati Violent Lambs vs. Warning Belles (6 p.m.)

Violent Lambs: 91 Annie Tomical // 80 Chainsaw // 0 Cherry Choke // 48 Coco // 1138 Darla Vader // 34 Jillian Dollaz // 41 Karli Hustle // 26 Mama Crass // 27 Poppy Chulo // 42 Ragdoll Ruby // 29 Redrum // 18 Scrappy Sue // 2 Sista Shovechild // 19 Tru D. Vicious // Alternate: 23 I, Caramba!
Warning Belles: 85 Amelia B Killya // 162 Armagayydon // 934 Black Eye Sue // 501 Darth Blue // 3 Hershey Skirts // 1959 Kneads Therapy // 70 Lysis 2 Kill // 604 Pirouette Threat // 262 Puff the Rainbow Dragon // 00 Roulette Wheels // 58 Vanessa Raptor // 312 Vivi Section

Cincinnati Black Sheep vs. Tornado Sirens (approx 7:45 p.m.)

Black Sheep: 80 Chainsaw // 631 Ellie Stab’er // 23 I, Caramba! // 135 Jas Hubbard // 30 Kitten Kicker // 66 La Bruja // 93 Macrum // 86 Nuk’em // 27 Poppy Chulo // 533 Royal T // 92 Sailor Scary // 50 Sk8 Crime // 19 Tru D. Vicious // 43 Wheezy // Alternate: 42 Ragdoll Ruby
Tornado Sirens: 07 Cherry-oto-Fire // 16 Crash N2U // 99 Deadie Page // 7 Dora the Destroyer // 316 Eve Anne Hellical // 262 Puff the Rainbow Dragon // 76 Maiden America // 604 Pirouette Threat // 237 Scorpiopathic // 762 Sock’emz Razor // 5 Trudy Bauchery // 84 Wham Bam